Okay, so I had plenty of associates growing up throughout the years that I called “friends”. I even named a few of those friends “best friends”, but how do you really know that your friends are your friends? Most importantly, how do you know if you’re being a good friend to your friends? Let’s walk through a couple of situations as to why you may need to just dig up a hole, crawl inside and stay there forever.
Do you genuinely care to check on your pal every now and then?
The ever so popular question, “how are you?” is used up like a $2 prostitute every single day. How many people actually go deeper into how you really are?
When it comes to friendships, I learned that I need to ask how my friends are doing, listen to their responses and then do what I can do to help them out if there is a problem. This doesn’t mean that you have to bend over backwards and empty your piggy bank for your broke buddy, but maybe send some flowers, feel sympathetic, offer advice if they want to hear it or just let them vent without an opinion.
Are you selfish as hell?
Do you feel like the pack leader, the Beyonce or the Queen of the castle? Well listen Queen Elizabeth, you may need to stop in your tracks and offer to be your friends “dog-on-a-leash” for a minute.
Always remember that there has to be compromise within a relationship. You have to give half and they have to give half. If you keep suggesting what the activity is going to be for the weekend, you might miss out on some pretty awesome things from another point of view.
How do you talk about issues?
I learned this from a good friend of mine (and yes, she’s a real friend to me). Whenever there was an issue, she never held onto how she felt. She would always simply bring it up in a nice manner and talk about it.
For example, “Hey, I don’t know what you meant by “pig” the other day when I ate that fifth burger, but it hurt my feelings.”
This opens up the floodgates and helps you move pass any built up feelings that you may have. If you haven’t heard this from your bestie, you may want to check in and make sure he or she isn’t putting pin needles in your cushion doll.
Tip: By the way, learn how to read your friends emotions and this will help with future issues.
When’s the last time you helped your buddy do anything?
Sometimes we need a helping hand. Even if we don’t need help, we need some moral support!
If your buddy mentions a hobby, a grand opening, a shopping spree for their new unborn baby or anything of the sort, all you have to do is show up. Giving your time to someone you love is definitely the most valuable thing you can ever give them. A memory is worth so much more than materials. Be there for your friend and I promise that when you’re 78 years old drinking sangria at bingo night you’ll look at your bestie and be happy that you were there to witness it.
Here’s to great friendships and an even better you. Sometimes you have to learn to live in the shoes of others. Truth of the matter is that nobody is going to want to bother you with all their thoughts all of the time, but you should definitely ask, because they’re worth it.