I’ve been reading A LOT and one of my favorite books that I finished is Life And Death: A Medium’s Message To Help You Overcome Grief And Find Closure by Tim Braun and another that I’m still chipping away at is Psychopath Free by Jackson MacKenzie. While reading keeps me pretty sane these days, I have learned some very valuable lessons from it. There’s a lot of information out there that we are able to take ahold of and reel in for our own benefit… It’s solely up to us to do so.
As we all know, I lost my stepfather in December 2016 and went through a traumatic experience shortly after. After this, I was completely lost. I had to literally start from scratch with my material possessions and my spiritual possessions. Plenty of people have complimented me on my resilience in those situations because it seemed as if I had it all together. I look back and realize that I truly must have been strong but I didn’t feel a thing (in perspective)… I just moved through it by looking at the other side of things.
I felt numb the whole way through, I didn’t want to feel sad, I didn’t want to accept my feelings, I didn’t want to feel emotions at all. I went through a wave of choosing anger instead of happiness. I would feel anger when I was supposed to feel sad or happy or whatever the case may be. I was empty because I had cracked into a million pieces at age 28 and I had to start all the way over.
The first time I went back to Houston to see my stepfathers grave was where I learned to operate at higher vibrations. I honestly didn’t think I could handle actually seeing his grave because then it would be real. The second I finished “Life and Death” by Tim Braun, my whole world changed. I felt POWERFUL. I made tons of money, men flocked to me, my skin was glowing, my hair was growing, everything was right in life and I felt like I could conquer anything.
I went to the graveyard, couldn’t find my stepfathers grave and so I simply asked him where he was. I closed my eyes, drifted into my higher vibration and was led toward his grave by “gravity”. It shocked me so I snapped out of it and shook off the feeling. When I asked my mother where the grave was, it was in the direction I was being pulled in. WOW. After that experience, I’ve been operating in my higher vibration ever since.
When I returned to Los Angeles, I found myself being okay with being alone because I was enjoying my own company. I realized that I didn’t need another human to feel that happiness. I also still felt (and still feel) very powerful.
Today I learned that self respect comes from SELF. If you don’t know yourSELF, it is very difficult to respect it. Here are a few tips of getting to know yourself.
- Try doing these things alone
- Eating at a nice restaurant
- Roaming a new city
- Going to the bookstore
- Traveling to a new state
- Spending a day at the spa
- Driving just to drive
You always come first. I have faith in you and I know that you are on your way to getting exactly what you want. Those two books at the beginning of this post are really helpful in my recovery. I would highly suggest them.